Bathroom is one place in the world where all my thoughts run amuck. I allow them to run without a reign. I visualise from the tiles innumerable patterns and mathematical shapes. Sometimes the thoughts ponder on the latest subject of my reading or an event. This coupled with imagination is better than any fiction. Wthin the 16 square feet, I am the hero, all powerful, genius, scientist ............ None to stop or check.
One day while relaxing and releaving, I thought of an electronic gadget SFM (shoe fling Missile) that can easily be fitted in shoes and cannot be detected. It draws electricity from our body current. When flung SFM can hit the target, which is in our mind, and also email the photograph.
I started the design of the product. Technical portion was a little bit tough. All my treasured and cherished knowledge of one Tamil magazine Kannan (read before 50 years) and Mandrake the magician were flashing in my mind. I frantically tried to get a clue on how to get the object in the mind transferred to SFM. Technology is vast. There should be an electronic impulse from SFM that will trigger telepathy and the object targeted by the mind will be transferred to SFM.
Suddenly there was a commotion and shout from outside my temporary kingdom.
"எவ்ளோ நேரம். நாங்க காலேஜ் போகணும். சீக்ரம் வா" (How long you will take we have to go to college).
" ஆமாம் ஒங்க அப்பா பாத்ரூமுக்கு உள்ள போனா ஒலகமே தெரியாது. அப்பிடி என்னதான்..."
(Wife - yes if your dad gets in bathroom the world is forgotten. I dont know...)
Poor SFM. Product jettisoned.
(On introspection I found a newsitem and http://www.wipo.int/pctdb/en/wo.jsp?wo=2005055579 were the catalysts)
திங்கள், 13 ஏப்ரல், 2009
வியாழன், 2 ஏப்ரல், 2009
எங் spirit
டேய் வாண்டாண்டா (Please dont do)
எங்க அப்பாவுக்கு தெரிஞ்சா கொன்னு போடுவார். (My dad will kill if he comes to know)
முதுகு தோல் பிஞ்சுபோகும் (Skin of your back will be peeled)
நாளு நாள் சோறு கிடைக்காது. (You wont get food for four days)
டிண் கட்டிடுவாங்க (*$@!! no idea how to translate this slang)
These were our initial reaction to the invitation of KV. KV is the unproclaimed leader of the boys from our street. Nobody remembers his original name. He is Balavenkitasubramanian. KV is abbreviatiin of his nick name Kattavandi. Even his parents started calling him by this name.
Coming to our main subject, KV has told that today everyone in his house is going for a vishesham (important occasion) to their relatives house and he will be alone till 9 PM in his house. This evening he wanted to enjoy in our company. All of us should bring some eatable so that we can have a party in his house. He further added that one of his distant relative(ஒண்ணு விட்ட சித்தப்பா) left half consumed beer bottle under the table. His mother will through that கண்ட கழிசடை before taking bath tomorrow as she will not touch those things after bath. (It requires a great skill to smuggle such a thing into their house and have it also)
We were no better than Eve and had already fallen for the temptation. We had agreed to assemble at 4.30PM. Temptation was killing us and the clock was very slow that day. Suddenly Balu appeared from nowhere and told that the party will start at 4.25 as at 4.30 rahukalam begins.
I leave all other unimportant events till party began. KV brought a பித்தளை அடுக்கு(a brass vessel) The total contents of the bottle (may be 100ml) was poured in the vessel. There were 9 of us including the host.
Suddenly KV started his sermon.
"We are first timers. Nobody should vomit or spit. The moment party is over all should go home and sit in a corner preferably with abook. Even if caught no betrayal"
Kudumi suggested that once we go home we should take a glass of buttermilk which may reduce the effects and prevent us from betraying to respective parents.
All kinds of promises were extracted and made.
In order to serve all it was unanimously decided to add water. Eight glass of water was added and throughly mixed. The orthodox house was not keeping any glass set. We had decided to do with existing brass tumbler. Kv wanted better cutlery and came with two dabaraa and tumbler sets(Alternate for cup and saucer but made of brass). It was agreed that தூக்கி குடிக்கணும் (Should not sip. We should drink without the tumbler touching the lips as the tumbler will be used to serve next without washing)
He gave half tumbler placing the tumbler on dabara to Balu. All were watching Balu for any reaction. Nothing. Perhaps Balu himself felt the same. Suddenly he started " யார்ராது டேய். பேத்துடுவேன்" There was full satisfaction and great smile in our faces. KV told சரக்கு வேலை செய்யறது. Then KV took his lion's share and distributed the rest to all of us. We tried and walked with criscross legs and talked with twisted toungue for some time to show the effect on us. Suddenly KV told us to disperse silently as his parents will be arriving anytime. The entire gang disappeared in no time.
Epilogue
Next day was as usual sunny day. Kudumi came running. He told that KVs father sniffed the rat. His mother related the empty bottle (கண்ட கழிசடை ), the tumblers and dabaraas. KVs father as usual took his belt and targetted KV's back. But KV stood like a rock without revealing our participation. All of us concluded the drink in the bottle was the finest imported drink and its comsumption saved KV from such a pain.
எங்க அப்பாவுக்கு தெரிஞ்சா கொன்னு போடுவார். (My dad will kill if he comes to know)
முதுகு தோல் பிஞ்சுபோகும் (Skin of your back will be peeled)
நாளு நாள் சோறு கிடைக்காது. (You wont get food for four days)
டிண் கட்டிடுவாங்க (*$@!! no idea how to translate this slang)
These were our initial reaction to the invitation of KV. KV is the unproclaimed leader of the boys from our street. Nobody remembers his original name. He is Balavenkitasubramanian. KV is abbreviatiin of his nick name Kattavandi. Even his parents started calling him by this name.
Coming to our main subject, KV has told that today everyone in his house is going for a vishesham (important occasion) to their relatives house and he will be alone till 9 PM in his house. This evening he wanted to enjoy in our company. All of us should bring some eatable so that we can have a party in his house. He further added that one of his distant relative(ஒண்ணு விட்ட சித்தப்பா) left half consumed beer bottle under the table. His mother will through that கண்ட கழிசடை before taking bath tomorrow as she will not touch those things after bath. (It requires a great skill to smuggle such a thing into their house and have it also)
We were no better than Eve and had already fallen for the temptation. We had agreed to assemble at 4.30PM. Temptation was killing us and the clock was very slow that day. Suddenly Balu appeared from nowhere and told that the party will start at 4.25 as at 4.30 rahukalam begins.
I leave all other unimportant events till party began. KV brought a பித்தளை அடுக்கு(a brass vessel) The total contents of the bottle (may be 100ml) was poured in the vessel. There were 9 of us including the host.
Suddenly KV started his sermon.
"We are first timers. Nobody should vomit or spit. The moment party is over all should go home and sit in a corner preferably with abook. Even if caught no betrayal"
Kudumi suggested that once we go home we should take a glass of buttermilk which may reduce the effects and prevent us from betraying to respective parents.
All kinds of promises were extracted and made.
In order to serve all it was unanimously decided to add water. Eight glass of water was added and throughly mixed. The orthodox house was not keeping any glass set. We had decided to do with existing brass tumbler. Kv wanted better cutlery and came with two dabaraa and tumbler sets(Alternate for cup and saucer but made of brass). It was agreed that தூக்கி குடிக்கணும் (Should not sip. We should drink without the tumbler touching the lips as the tumbler will be used to serve next without washing)
He gave half tumbler placing the tumbler on dabara to Balu. All were watching Balu for any reaction. Nothing. Perhaps Balu himself felt the same. Suddenly he started " யார்ராது டேய். பேத்துடுவேன்" There was full satisfaction and great smile in our faces. KV told சரக்கு வேலை செய்யறது. Then KV took his lion's share and distributed the rest to all of us. We tried and walked with criscross legs and talked with twisted toungue for some time to show the effect on us. Suddenly KV told us to disperse silently as his parents will be arriving anytime. The entire gang disappeared in no time.
Epilogue
Next day was as usual sunny day. Kudumi came running. He told that KVs father sniffed the rat. His mother related the empty bottle (கண்ட கழிசடை ), the tumblers and dabaraas. KVs father as usual took his belt and targetted KV's back. But KV stood like a rock without revealing our participation. All of us concluded the drink in the bottle was the finest imported drink and its comsumption saved KV from such a pain.
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