Sethu is one of my best friend(I don't have bad/worst or any other kind of friends.As I presume, nobody will have a bad friend /கெட்ட சகவாசம்) I heard that he had a grand father just like anyone of us will have. I believe that all of us have/had grand fathers and Sethu is not a lonely exception ordained to have such a relation. But he always appear to be the only person suffering from having such a relation.
Coming back to the subject, the GF(grand father) referred is not a direct ascendant(opposite of descendant)of Sethu. In tamil we call this kind of relation as ஒண்ணுவிட்ட / ரெண்டு விட்ட தாத்தா. i.e Sethu's father's father and the referred GF were brothers or cousins. But still such grand fathers excercise their old age power in many family matters. Such matters are accepted in their presence willingly to be conveniently forgotten immediately afterwards by all concerned.
One such GF had left a legacy to Sethu which was the matter of discussion by all known and unknown people. The legacy was called laughing box. Nobody knew how the name came. the concerned தாத்தா (GF) had told that he got it from his grandfather. It was never opened during his life time. Since it is a general opinion that Sethu was never seen with smiling curve affixed under his nose or with a laughing posture (Narasimma rao culture), it was thought that the GF left him the legacy laughing box.
One fine day in a nice muhurtham all relatives assembled. The next senior gave the box to Sethu. Lo.... Sethu accepted it with a smile. The box started doing its job. It was told that since that day and after Sethu never stopped smiling and laughing.
Epilogue: When alone in the house on the day, Sethu and Madam Sethu opened the box. They found dentures of great,great grand father (kept with Pink,velvette surroundings giving strange feeling of smile) made of gold. Any recipient will defnitely smile.
P.S After this episode was made public Sethu stopped smiling at me.
பி.பி.கு இது பின் பின் குறிப்பு
சேதுராமனின் தாத்தாவின் தாத்தா அந்த பல்செட்டை தூக்கத்தில் முழுங்கியதை பெரிய கதையாய் எழுதலாம். அதை கற்பனைக்கு விட்டு விட்டேன்.
வியாழன், 14 மே, 2009
திங்கள், 13 ஏப்ரல், 2009
ஷுவுகணை
Bathroom is one place in the world where all my thoughts run amuck. I allow them to run without a reign. I visualise from the tiles innumerable patterns and mathematical shapes. Sometimes the thoughts ponder on the latest subject of my reading or an event. This coupled with imagination is better than any fiction. Wthin the 16 square feet, I am the hero, all powerful, genius, scientist ............ None to stop or check.
One day while relaxing and releaving, I thought of an electronic gadget SFM (shoe fling Missile) that can easily be fitted in shoes and cannot be detected. It draws electricity from our body current. When flung SFM can hit the target, which is in our mind, and also email the photograph.
I started the design of the product. Technical portion was a little bit tough. All my treasured and cherished knowledge of one Tamil magazine Kannan (read before 50 years) and Mandrake the magician were flashing in my mind. I frantically tried to get a clue on how to get the object in the mind transferred to SFM. Technology is vast. There should be an electronic impulse from SFM that will trigger telepathy and the object targeted by the mind will be transferred to SFM.
Suddenly there was a commotion and shout from outside my temporary kingdom.
"எவ்ளோ நேரம். நாங்க காலேஜ் போகணும். சீக்ரம் வா" (How long you will take we have to go to college).
" ஆமாம் ஒங்க அப்பா பாத்ரூமுக்கு உள்ள போனா ஒலகமே தெரியாது. அப்பிடி என்னதான்..."
(Wife - yes if your dad gets in bathroom the world is forgotten. I dont know...)
Poor SFM. Product jettisoned.
(On introspection I found a newsitem and http://www.wipo.int/pctdb/en/wo.jsp?wo=2005055579 were the catalysts)
One day while relaxing and releaving, I thought of an electronic gadget SFM (shoe fling Missile) that can easily be fitted in shoes and cannot be detected. It draws electricity from our body current. When flung SFM can hit the target, which is in our mind, and also email the photograph.
I started the design of the product. Technical portion was a little bit tough. All my treasured and cherished knowledge of one Tamil magazine Kannan (read before 50 years) and Mandrake the magician were flashing in my mind. I frantically tried to get a clue on how to get the object in the mind transferred to SFM. Technology is vast. There should be an electronic impulse from SFM that will trigger telepathy and the object targeted by the mind will be transferred to SFM.
Suddenly there was a commotion and shout from outside my temporary kingdom.
"எவ்ளோ நேரம். நாங்க காலேஜ் போகணும். சீக்ரம் வா" (How long you will take we have to go to college).
" ஆமாம் ஒங்க அப்பா பாத்ரூமுக்கு உள்ள போனா ஒலகமே தெரியாது. அப்பிடி என்னதான்..."
(Wife - yes if your dad gets in bathroom the world is forgotten. I dont know...)
Poor SFM. Product jettisoned.
(On introspection I found a newsitem and http://www.wipo.int/pctdb/en/wo.jsp?wo=2005055579 were the catalysts)
வியாழன், 2 ஏப்ரல், 2009
எங் spirit
டேய் வாண்டாண்டா (Please dont do)
எங்க அப்பாவுக்கு தெரிஞ்சா கொன்னு போடுவார். (My dad will kill if he comes to know)
முதுகு தோல் பிஞ்சுபோகும் (Skin of your back will be peeled)
நாளு நாள் சோறு கிடைக்காது. (You wont get food for four days)
டிண் கட்டிடுவாங்க (*$@!! no idea how to translate this slang)
These were our initial reaction to the invitation of KV. KV is the unproclaimed leader of the boys from our street. Nobody remembers his original name. He is Balavenkitasubramanian. KV is abbreviatiin of his nick name Kattavandi. Even his parents started calling him by this name.
Coming to our main subject, KV has told that today everyone in his house is going for a vishesham (important occasion) to their relatives house and he will be alone till 9 PM in his house. This evening he wanted to enjoy in our company. All of us should bring some eatable so that we can have a party in his house. He further added that one of his distant relative(ஒண்ணு விட்ட சித்தப்பா) left half consumed beer bottle under the table. His mother will through that கண்ட கழிசடை before taking bath tomorrow as she will not touch those things after bath. (It requires a great skill to smuggle such a thing into their house and have it also)
We were no better than Eve and had already fallen for the temptation. We had agreed to assemble at 4.30PM. Temptation was killing us and the clock was very slow that day. Suddenly Balu appeared from nowhere and told that the party will start at 4.25 as at 4.30 rahukalam begins.
I leave all other unimportant events till party began. KV brought a பித்தளை அடுக்கு(a brass vessel) The total contents of the bottle (may be 100ml) was poured in the vessel. There were 9 of us including the host.
Suddenly KV started his sermon.
"We are first timers. Nobody should vomit or spit. The moment party is over all should go home and sit in a corner preferably with abook. Even if caught no betrayal"
Kudumi suggested that once we go home we should take a glass of buttermilk which may reduce the effects and prevent us from betraying to respective parents.
All kinds of promises were extracted and made.
In order to serve all it was unanimously decided to add water. Eight glass of water was added and throughly mixed. The orthodox house was not keeping any glass set. We had decided to do with existing brass tumbler. Kv wanted better cutlery and came with two dabaraa and tumbler sets(Alternate for cup and saucer but made of brass). It was agreed that தூக்கி குடிக்கணும் (Should not sip. We should drink without the tumbler touching the lips as the tumbler will be used to serve next without washing)
He gave half tumbler placing the tumbler on dabara to Balu. All were watching Balu for any reaction. Nothing. Perhaps Balu himself felt the same. Suddenly he started " யார்ராது டேய். பேத்துடுவேன்" There was full satisfaction and great smile in our faces. KV told சரக்கு வேலை செய்யறது. Then KV took his lion's share and distributed the rest to all of us. We tried and walked with criscross legs and talked with twisted toungue for some time to show the effect on us. Suddenly KV told us to disperse silently as his parents will be arriving anytime. The entire gang disappeared in no time.
Epilogue
Next day was as usual sunny day. Kudumi came running. He told that KVs father sniffed the rat. His mother related the empty bottle (கண்ட கழிசடை ), the tumblers and dabaraas. KVs father as usual took his belt and targetted KV's back. But KV stood like a rock without revealing our participation. All of us concluded the drink in the bottle was the finest imported drink and its comsumption saved KV from such a pain.
எங்க அப்பாவுக்கு தெரிஞ்சா கொன்னு போடுவார். (My dad will kill if he comes to know)
முதுகு தோல் பிஞ்சுபோகும் (Skin of your back will be peeled)
நாளு நாள் சோறு கிடைக்காது. (You wont get food for four days)
டிண் கட்டிடுவாங்க (*$@!! no idea how to translate this slang)
These were our initial reaction to the invitation of KV. KV is the unproclaimed leader of the boys from our street. Nobody remembers his original name. He is Balavenkitasubramanian. KV is abbreviatiin of his nick name Kattavandi. Even his parents started calling him by this name.
Coming to our main subject, KV has told that today everyone in his house is going for a vishesham (important occasion) to their relatives house and he will be alone till 9 PM in his house. This evening he wanted to enjoy in our company. All of us should bring some eatable so that we can have a party in his house. He further added that one of his distant relative(ஒண்ணு விட்ட சித்தப்பா) left half consumed beer bottle under the table. His mother will through that கண்ட கழிசடை before taking bath tomorrow as she will not touch those things after bath. (It requires a great skill to smuggle such a thing into their house and have it also)
We were no better than Eve and had already fallen for the temptation. We had agreed to assemble at 4.30PM. Temptation was killing us and the clock was very slow that day. Suddenly Balu appeared from nowhere and told that the party will start at 4.25 as at 4.30 rahukalam begins.
I leave all other unimportant events till party began. KV brought a பித்தளை அடுக்கு(a brass vessel) The total contents of the bottle (may be 100ml) was poured in the vessel. There were 9 of us including the host.
Suddenly KV started his sermon.
"We are first timers. Nobody should vomit or spit. The moment party is over all should go home and sit in a corner preferably with abook. Even if caught no betrayal"
Kudumi suggested that once we go home we should take a glass of buttermilk which may reduce the effects and prevent us from betraying to respective parents.
All kinds of promises were extracted and made.
In order to serve all it was unanimously decided to add water. Eight glass of water was added and throughly mixed. The orthodox house was not keeping any glass set. We had decided to do with existing brass tumbler. Kv wanted better cutlery and came with two dabaraa and tumbler sets(Alternate for cup and saucer but made of brass). It was agreed that தூக்கி குடிக்கணும் (Should not sip. We should drink without the tumbler touching the lips as the tumbler will be used to serve next without washing)
He gave half tumbler placing the tumbler on dabara to Balu. All were watching Balu for any reaction. Nothing. Perhaps Balu himself felt the same. Suddenly he started " யார்ராது டேய். பேத்துடுவேன்" There was full satisfaction and great smile in our faces. KV told சரக்கு வேலை செய்யறது. Then KV took his lion's share and distributed the rest to all of us. We tried and walked with criscross legs and talked with twisted toungue for some time to show the effect on us. Suddenly KV told us to disperse silently as his parents will be arriving anytime. The entire gang disappeared in no time.
Epilogue
Next day was as usual sunny day. Kudumi came running. He told that KVs father sniffed the rat. His mother related the empty bottle (கண்ட கழிசடை ), the tumblers and dabaraas. KVs father as usual took his belt and targetted KV's back. But KV stood like a rock without revealing our participation. All of us concluded the drink in the bottle was the finest imported drink and its comsumption saved KV from such a pain.
புதன், 7 ஜனவரி, 2009
வெண்பொங்கல்
After sharing my trials with Arisi Upma, the favorite recipe of all Iyer aunties, I decided not to ponder on food items to avoid domestic disturbances. But Sethu liked my views on arisi upma and wanted my comments on Venpongal.
My idea of Pongal is more for its association with மார்கழி பஜனை. Normally all bhajanais end up with sundal. But மார்கழி பஜனை always completes with hot வெண்பொங்கல். In all Bhajanai groups there will be a couple of persons who has the full idea of bhajanai and their timings. During the mangalam (மங்களம் = concluding song of bajanai) they will appear from nowhere to regulate or distribute pongal. This will be done only after reserving their share of prasaadam. Perhaps the upper layer of the pongal that will have mundiri paruppu fried in ghee may be reserved for these mundiri kottais. Almost all the eyes will be on the முந்திரி பருப்பு. Invariably some senior uncle (sadist)will mix the pongal well when I am first in the queue, so that only lucky ones will get mundiri in their share.
Our canteen contractor menon had different views on all these bhajanai items. If you refer special lexicon for workforce in Tamil, bhajanai means posing as if working but in reality doing nothing. Being well versed in these jargons and terms, menon will prepare pongal for morning and sundal for evening snacks daily. When confronted for better menu, menon shoots his reply
" ஸாரே, நீங்க ஆபீஸ்ல பஜனைத்தானே செய்யறது?"
My idea of Pongal is more for its association with மார்கழி பஜனை. Normally all bhajanais end up with sundal. But மார்கழி பஜனை always completes with hot வெண்பொங்கல். In all Bhajanai groups there will be a couple of persons who has the full idea of bhajanai and their timings. During the mangalam (மங்களம் = concluding song of bajanai) they will appear from nowhere to regulate or distribute pongal. This will be done only after reserving their share of prasaadam. Perhaps the upper layer of the pongal that will have mundiri paruppu fried in ghee may be reserved for these mundiri kottais. Almost all the eyes will be on the முந்திரி பருப்பு. Invariably some senior uncle (sadist)will mix the pongal well when I am first in the queue, so that only lucky ones will get mundiri in their share.
Our canteen contractor menon had different views on all these bhajanai items. If you refer special lexicon for workforce in Tamil, bhajanai means posing as if working but in reality doing nothing. Being well versed in these jargons and terms, menon will prepare pongal for morning and sundal for evening snacks daily. When confronted for better menu, menon shoots his reply
" ஸாரே, நீங்க ஆபீஸ்ல பஜனைத்தானே செய்யறது?"
திங்கள், 5 ஜனவரி, 2009
சென்-சேஷன் - senseshan
My English is not so weak. Our school final class teacher Mr.Ananthapadmanabha Iyer was a great devotee of Johnson, Boswell and had fascination for Wren and Martin grammar. I still remember the day when Balu alias Kullan could not spell the word "apologetically" and the entire class was asked to sit for one full hour after school time and write "apologetically" 100 times. Later on we learnt that the misspelling was a deliberate action by Kullan to settle score with ottarakuchi (thin as stick) Gopu who on the previous day was the cause of some group punishment. As a result Kullan and Ottarakuchi were kept away from Gilli-dandu till they came apologetically and expressed their "sorry".
When we talk of English I remembered an old English joke. A royal lady invited a Lord and a rustic villager for a dinner.
During the dinner the lord impressed the lady by asking, with rhyme and rhythm "Lady Divine! Please pass on the wine".
Not to be let down, the rustic man produced his rhyme by requesting the Lady's husband, " Friendly Bas%*@! Please pass on the custard". You can imagine the consequence.
Coming back to the subject, the topic is senseshan and not sensation. I had two colleagues Mr.Sen and Mr.Seshan who believed that the legs are there to pull. One day Sen asked Seshan " Saar, can you tell me comparative and superlative degrees for I”. Seshan replied, "I does not have degrees of speech". Sen replied coolly " I, Iyer and Iyengar"
When we talk of English I remembered an old English joke. A royal lady invited a Lord and a rustic villager for a dinner.
During the dinner the lord impressed the lady by asking, with rhyme and rhythm "Lady Divine! Please pass on the wine".
Not to be let down, the rustic man produced his rhyme by requesting the Lady's husband, " Friendly Bas%*@! Please pass on the custard". You can imagine the consequence.
Coming back to the subject, the topic is senseshan and not sensation. I had two colleagues Mr.Sen and Mr.Seshan who believed that the legs are there to pull. One day Sen asked Seshan " Saar, can you tell me comparative and superlative degrees for I”. Seshan replied, "I does not have degrees of speech". Sen replied coolly " I, Iyer and Iyengar"
வெள்ளி, 26 டிசம்பர், 2008
தியரி ஆப் ரிலேடிவிடி
I read this story long long ago in a old Tamil magazine called Janavinodini priced at four annas per monthly issue.
நீங்க அவனை மாதிரி கருமியை பார்த்தே இருக்கமுடியாது. தினமும் ராத்திரி 12 மணிக்குத்தான் கோவிலுக்கு போவான்.அப்போதான் குருக்களுக்கு தக்ஷிணை கொடுக்கவேண்டாம்.யாருக்கும் பைசா போடவேண்டாம். ஒரு நாள் ராத்திரி கோவிலில் கொஞ்சம் வெளிச்சம் இருந்தது. யாரோ பூஜை செய்யும் சத்தமும் கேட்டது. அவன் ஒளிந்துகொண்டு பார்த்தான். உள்ளே தேவேந்திரன் பூஜை செய்துகொண்டு இருந்தான்.
அவனுக்கு ஏதோ ஒரு ஓசி புத்தகத்தில் படித்தது நினைவுக்கு வந்தது. நமக்கு ஓரு ரூபா என்றால் தேவர்களுக்கு லக்ஷம் ரூபா. நமக்கு ஒரு கிலோ என்றால் தேவர்களுக்கு ஆயிரம் கிலோ. சைலண்டா ஒரு ஓரமா மறைவாக நின்றான். இந்திரன் வெளியே வரும்போது லபக் என்று பிடித்துக்கொண்டான்."ஐயா தர்மம் பண்ணுங்க ஐயா. ".
இந்திரனுக்கு ஒன்றும் புரியலே. இந்திரன் கேட்டான் "நீ யார்? உனக்கு என்ன வேண்டும்".
"ஐயா எனக்கு ஒரு ரூபா தர்மம் பண்ணுங்க ஐயா"
"சரி இங்கேயே இரு. பர்ஸை தேர்ல வேச்சிருக்கேன்.ஒரு நிமிஷத்துலே** கொண்டு வரேன்"
**அதே ஓசி புத்தகத்தில் போட்டிருந்தது " தேவர்களுக்கு ஒரு நிமிஷம் என்றால் நமக்கு ஓரு லக்ஷம் நிமிஷம்"
There is a lot of explanations to theory of relativity. The simple story above explains about the dimension of time.
நீங்க அவனை மாதிரி கருமியை பார்த்தே இருக்கமுடியாது. தினமும் ராத்திரி 12 மணிக்குத்தான் கோவிலுக்கு போவான்.அப்போதான் குருக்களுக்கு தக்ஷிணை கொடுக்கவேண்டாம்.யாருக்கும் பைசா போடவேண்டாம். ஒரு நாள் ராத்திரி கோவிலில் கொஞ்சம் வெளிச்சம் இருந்தது. யாரோ பூஜை செய்யும் சத்தமும் கேட்டது. அவன் ஒளிந்துகொண்டு பார்த்தான். உள்ளே தேவேந்திரன் பூஜை செய்துகொண்டு இருந்தான்.
அவனுக்கு ஏதோ ஒரு ஓசி புத்தகத்தில் படித்தது நினைவுக்கு வந்தது. நமக்கு ஓரு ரூபா என்றால் தேவர்களுக்கு லக்ஷம் ரூபா. நமக்கு ஒரு கிலோ என்றால் தேவர்களுக்கு ஆயிரம் கிலோ. சைலண்டா ஒரு ஓரமா மறைவாக நின்றான். இந்திரன் வெளியே வரும்போது லபக் என்று பிடித்துக்கொண்டான்."ஐயா தர்மம் பண்ணுங்க ஐயா. ".
இந்திரனுக்கு ஒன்றும் புரியலே. இந்திரன் கேட்டான் "நீ யார்? உனக்கு என்ன வேண்டும்".
"ஐயா எனக்கு ஒரு ரூபா தர்மம் பண்ணுங்க ஐயா"
"சரி இங்கேயே இரு. பர்ஸை தேர்ல வேச்சிருக்கேன்.ஒரு நிமிஷத்துலே** கொண்டு வரேன்"
**அதே ஓசி புத்தகத்தில் போட்டிருந்தது " தேவர்களுக்கு ஒரு நிமிஷம் என்றால் நமக்கு ஓரு லக்ஷம் நிமிஷம்"
There is a lot of explanations to theory of relativity. The simple story above explains about the dimension of time.
புதன், 17 டிசம்பர், 2008
பருமன்
குண்டு, ரெட்ட நாடி, ஊள சதை, தாட்டி, தடி, க்ளாக்ஸோ பேபி, வாயு சரீரம், ஊதி போச்சி, இன்னும் பெரிய லிஸ்ட் கொடுக்கலாம்.
ஏய் நீ டிவில புட்பால் மேட்ச் நடக்கச்ச பொறந்தயா? எப்பிடி இவ்ளோ குண்டா இருக்கே?
All such large or extra large personalities have one thing in common. Every one claims that they were very thin till recently (i.e till the time you had first seen them). Due to certain fever (poor typhoid etc.) or other ailment suddenly they started bloating.
Ladies are a little bit different in their approach. The preemptive question is
" நான் என்ன அப்பிடி குண்டாவா தெரியரேன்?" (Am I looking that much fat?)
You may think in your mind affirmative. But the expression of your face and language should be one of the thing
1. No No No not at all you are just in shape (சேசே நீ கரெக்ட் சைசிலதான் இருக்கே)
2. You are not skinny as if not eaten for days. (நீ ஒட்டரை குச்சி மாதிரி இல்லை)
3. Who told like that? Jealous set of people. (யார் சொன்னது பொறாமைகாரிகள்)
4. Ask them to go to an eye doctor. (போய் கண் டாக்டரை பாக்க சொல்லு)
5. If you are fat there is no thin person in the world. (ஒன்ன குண்டுண்ணா உலகத்துலே யார் ஒல்லி?)
Quote
Only people who lecture on shape are the people who do not have any idea on shape. Infact round is the perfect shape.
ஏய் நீ டிவில புட்பால் மேட்ச் நடக்கச்ச பொறந்தயா? எப்பிடி இவ்ளோ குண்டா இருக்கே?
All such large or extra large personalities have one thing in common. Every one claims that they were very thin till recently (i.e till the time you had first seen them). Due to certain fever (poor typhoid etc.) or other ailment suddenly they started bloating.
Ladies are a little bit different in their approach. The preemptive question is
" நான் என்ன அப்பிடி குண்டாவா தெரியரேன்?" (Am I looking that much fat?)
You may think in your mind affirmative. But the expression of your face and language should be one of the thing
1. No No No not at all you are just in shape (சேசே நீ கரெக்ட் சைசிலதான் இருக்கே)
2. You are not skinny as if not eaten for days. (நீ ஒட்டரை குச்சி மாதிரி இல்லை)
3. Who told like that? Jealous set of people. (யார் சொன்னது பொறாமைகாரிகள்)
4. Ask them to go to an eye doctor. (போய் கண் டாக்டரை பாக்க சொல்லு)
5. If you are fat there is no thin person in the world. (ஒன்ன குண்டுண்ணா உலகத்துலே யார் ஒல்லி?)
Quote
Only people who lecture on shape are the people who do not have any idea on shape. Infact round is the perfect shape.
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